i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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