Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
