what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
being pregnant is like rehab
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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