i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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