She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
