What did we do last night that was yellow?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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