I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
