why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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