Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
