So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
