All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
