Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this boner is exhausting
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
