my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
