I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
