Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
