He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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