The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
