Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hippo gnu deer
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
