Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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