I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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