I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
