shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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