Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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