Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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