What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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