Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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