we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
