I've blown a few things in my day
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
