i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
