I cockslap morals
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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