I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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