when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize