I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
