It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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