my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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