Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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