i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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