She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize