well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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