I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
