The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize