Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize