I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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