im about as happy as oj after his trial
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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