So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
