Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The air taste purple.
Randomize
