so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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