I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
