bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
