I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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