anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize