On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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