And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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