He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have aggressive nipples.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
