I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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