Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
