I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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