giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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