Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
