Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
