He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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