and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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