I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
