she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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