she was so not down for the gang bang
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
