The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
